I was asked to write this a while ago, and since it’s one of the weirdest things I’ve ever written (I have absolutely no idea what it means, if anything), I thought I’d post it here.

***

In the cold, wet night, Claerice looked for the clues that would tell her who had killed her.

The murder scene was an abandoned parking. She couldn’t remember ever being here, and that was strange.

The open space, lit fitfully by the standing lamps, was about thirty feet by forty feet, and dust covered every surface, lying in a sixty-year old layer on the four remaining automobiles. There had been fourteen once, a couple of decades ago, but the most interesting models had been disassembled and removed for study.

Water dripped from cracks in the ceiling in such profusion that it seemed it was raining, and Claerice, 3-hours alive, felt as if she should be thankful to someone. She was experiencing rain when no-one on the surface had felt it or seen it of smelled it for sixty years.

“But I’m not the only one, aren’t I?” she asked, and the emptiness tumbled her words back at her.

**

Two hours later, Claerice relaxed into the warm, pre-prepared water and laid her head back against the bath-tub’s curved rim. Her skin, now only 5 hours old, tingled exquisitely.

Taking up the bar of rose-scented soap, she wondered when the voice would speak to her again. It had been there as her senses kicked into life, in the White Room. The agony of sound had made her pass out, but when she awoke, ten minutes later, it had been more bearable.

“You were murdered,” it said. Its voice was calm, without inflection or emotion. “You must find the killer. If you cannot, you will not rejoin society.”

And then nothing, not even after Claerice’s repeated attempts at getting it to respond. She had screamed her voice raw, and had spent another hour crying because of the pain. It didn’t take long to find the strength to stagger, and then walk, and then run. The voice helped her, told her where she was –the island of Manhattan- what she could eat, where clothes were and water. And then the lights had gone out, everywhere, and when they came on again, she was in the parking lot.

“This is where you were killed.”

**

Claerice returned to the parking lot –she did not know how, only that she thought of it, and was then there- and saw the person lying on the dust-covered, muddy-in-places floor. It was a girl, and as Claerice walked up to her, the girl’s eyes opened.

“Who are you?” the girl whispered.

“I am Claerice. Who are you?”

Confusion, and then the light of understanding lit. “I am Claerice.”

Claerice took a step backwards, frowning. “But you – “

“– are me!” finished the girl.

“We have to die.” Claerice realized this, knew it to be true. “One of us, at any rate.”

“Why?” asked the girl, eyes wide and tearful. “I’ve just woken up!”

“Because,” answered Claerice, drawing out the revolver she had found, had been given, “one must die, and the other must know why.”

She pointed the gun at herself and pulled the trigger.

Copyright Dave-Brendon de Burgh 2009

One of my short stories, Bloodheat, has been published by the awesome Hagelrat over at the Un:Bound Blogzine! I was pretty damn chuffed about it (as you could all imagine)!

Not only can you read Bloodheat (and let me know what you think, please), but there’s also plenty of other awesome fiction to be enjoyed. Click here for Bloodheat, and here for the Short Story index.

In other news, I’m busy with some writing exercises:

The first one revolves around creating 6 characters, giving them a backstory, and then fitting them into a plot. I’ve finished the first part of the plot (all 6 characters are done and living), and I’m working on the second part. I’m really enjoying this – it seems that I write better under pressure, but we’ll see what happens with part 2. I’ll keep you updated, of course.

The second exercise involved writing a one-page something. I say ’something’ because what came out of that exercise is damn strange – stranger than anything I’ve written to date, I guess. I’ll post it here soon, and will welcome your thoughts.

Anyway, that’s me for now!

Be EPIC!

… in the spirit of fun, laughter, and education, here are some words you’ll need to know:

Braai
*What is a braai? It is the first thing you will be invited to when
you visit South Africa . A braai is a backyard barbecue and it will take
place whatever the weather. So you will have to go even if it’s
raining like mad. At a braai you will be introduced to a substance
known as mieliepap.

Ag
*This one of the most useful South African words. Pronounced like the
“ach” in the German “achtung”, it can be used to start a reply when
you are asked a tricky question, as in: “Ag, I don’t know.” Or a sense of resignation:”Ag OK, I’ll have some more mieliepap then.” It can stand alone too as a signal of irritation.

Donner
*A rude word, it comes from the Afrikaans “donder” (thunder). Pronounced “dorner”, it means “beat up.” A team member in your rugby team can get donnered in a game, or your wife can donner you if you
come back from a braai at three in the morning.

Eina
*Widely used by all language groups, this word, derived from the
Afrikaans, means “ouch.” Pronounced “aynah”. You can say it in
sympathy when you see your friend the day after he got donnered by
his wife.

Hey
*Often used at the end of a sentence to emphasize the importance of
what has just been said, as in “You’re only going to get donnered if
you come in late again, hey?” It can also stand alone as a question.
Instead of saying “excuse me?” or “pardon me?” when you have not
heard something directed at you, you can always say: “Hey?”

Izit?
*This is another great word to use in conversations. Derived from the
two words “is” and “it”, it can be used when you have nothing to
contribute if someone tells you something at a braai. For instance,
*if someone would say: “The Russians will succeed in their bid for
capitalism once they adopt a work ethic and respect for private
ownership.” It is quite appropriate to respond by saying: “Izit?”

Ja well no fine
This is another conversation fallback. Derived from the four words:
“yes”, “well”, “no” and fine”, it roughly means “OK”. If your bank
manager tells you your account is overdrawn, you can, with
confidence, say: “Jawelnofine.”

Klap
*Pronounced “klup” – an Afrikaans word meaning smack, whack or spank. If you spend too much time in front of the TV during exam time, you could end up getting a “klap” from your mother. In America , that is
called child abuse. In South Africa , it is called promoting
education. But to get “lekker geklap” is to get motherlessly drunk.

Lekker
*An Afrikaans word meaning nice, this word is used by all language
groups to express approval. If you enjoyed a braai thoroughly, you
can say: “Now that was lekk-errrrrrr!” while drawing out the last
syllable.

Tackies
*These are sneakers or running shoes. The word is also used to
describe automobile or truck tyres. “Fat tackies” are really wide tyres, as in: “You’ve got lekker fat tackies on your Vôlla, hey?” (Volla is a Volkswagon Beetle)

Dop
*This word has two basic meanings, one good and one bad. First the
good: A dop is a drink, a cocktail, a sundowner, a noggin. When
invited for a dop, be careful! It could be one sedate drink or a
blast, depending on the company. Now the bad: To dop is to fail. If
you “dopped” standard two (Grade 4) more than once, you probably
won’t be reading this.

Saamie
*This is a sandwich. For generations, school- children have traded
“saamies” during lunch breaks. In South Africa you don’t send your
kid to school with liver-polony saamies. They are impossible to trade.

Bakkie
*This word is pronounced “bucky” and can refer to a small truck or
pick-up. If a young man takes his “girl” (date) in a bakkie it could
be considered as a not so “lekker” form of transport because the
seats can’t recline.

Howzit
This is a universal South African greeting, and you will hear this
word throughout the country. It is often accompanied with the word
“Yes!” as in: “Yes, howzit?”. In which case you answer “No, fine.”

Now now
In much of the outside world, this is a comforting phrase: “Now now,
it’s really not so bad.” But in South Africa , this phrase is used
in the following manner: “Just wait, I’ll be there now now.” It means
“a little after now”.

Tune grief
*To be tuned grief is to be aggravated, harassed. For example, if you
argue with somebody about a rugby game at a braai and the person had too much dop (is a little “geklap”), he might easily get aggravated
and say.: “You’re tuning me grief, hey!”. To continue the argument
after this could be unwise and result in major tuning of grief..

Boet
This is an Afrikaans word meaning “brother” which is shared by all
language groups. Pronounced “boot” but shorter, as in “foot”, it can
be applied to a brother or any person of the male sex. For instance
a father can call his son “boet” and friends can apply the term to
each other too. Sometimes the diminutive “boetie” is used. But don’t use it on someone you hardly know – it will be thought patronizing and
could lead to you getting a “lekker klap”.

Pasop
*From the Afrikaans phrase meaning “Watch Out!”, this warning is used
and heeded by all language groups. As in: “The boss hasn’t had his coffee yet – so you better pasop boet” Sometimes just the word “pasop!” is enough without further explanation. Everyone knows it sets out a line in the sand not to be crossed.

Skop, Skiet en donner
*Literally “kick, shoot and thunder”, this phrase is used by many
South African speakers to describe action movies. A Clint Eastwood movie is always a good choice if you’re in the mood for of a lekker skop,
skiet en donner flick.

Vrot
*Pronounced – “frot”. A expressive word which means “rotten” or
“putrid” in Afrikaans, it is used by all language groups to describe
anything they really dislike. Most commonly intended to describe
fruit or vegetables whose shelf lives have long expired, but a pair of old tackies (sneakers) worn a few years too long can be termed “vrot” by some unfortunate folk which find themselves in the same vicinity as
the wearer. Also a rugby player who misses important kicks or tackles can be said to have played a vrot game – opposite to a “lekker” game (but not to his face). A movie was once reviewed with this headline:
“Slick Flick, Vrot Plot.”

Rock up
*To rock up is to just, sort of arrive (called “gate crash” in other
parts of the world). You don’t make an appointment or tell anyone
you are coming – you just rock up. Friends can do that but you have to
be selective about it. For example, you can’t just rock up for a job
interview.

Scale
*To scale something is to steal it. A person who is “scaly” has a
doubtful character, is possibly a scumbag, and should rather be left
off the invitation list to your next braai.

Ja-nee
*”Yes No” in English. Politics in South Africa has always been
associated with family arguments and in some cases even with
physical fights. It is believed that this expression originated with a
family member who didn’t want to get a klap or get donnerred, so he just every now and then muttered “ja-nee”. Use it when you are required to respond, but would rather not choose to agree or disagree.

Hope you all enjoyed that! Got this in an email yesterday, and since it’s doing the rounds anyway, I thought I’d post it.

Be EPIC!

Yes, I seem to have found that I am incredibly ambitious and have started what could potentially be a massive novel. Huh. Should I run screaming and buy a straight jacket?

You see, I was going through a folder on my PC with the name ‘My Writing’ and came across character lists. Now, not too many characters, granted, but wayyy back )I’m talking like 4-5 years back) I made these lists, and when I read through them, things started happening.

I had been working on a short story (I set aside my Dragon-story because I was falling asleep – yep, I know) and then I minimized the screen; the character list was sitting there, all innocent. I missed it on the first pass, but now I opened it up, saw the lists, and bang.

Then I drank some tea (our coffee is finished), decided to come a check email and Facebook and blogs and such quickly, and now I’m writing this post.

So, what’s the story about? Well, it involves meteorites, tribal uprisings, the pirate DVD market, and stuff I haven’t thought of yet.

Cheers for now (I’m gonna steal some coffee, have a smoke, and then climb back into the writing),

Be EPIC!

So, last night I finished another short story – Angelsong (working title, may change and all that). It’s a really short story, not even 3000 words, but I like it – hopefully I’ve managed to keep it focused and tight, and it definitely packs more of a punch than Bloodheat or Stalker, so I’m chuffed.

I’ll stay away from it until Monday, then I’ll get back into it and start editing and changing and rewriting, fun fun fun! But yep, another one is done.

Final wordcount: 2624 words.

I’ve been neglecting my LJ account for a long time now – not only because I started a SFF Review blog (and now launched a brand new one) but also because I just didn’t feel the need. I was, after all, blogging about books that I was reading, not about myself and my writing.

But you see, the thing is, I’ve got so many ideas that not to do something with them would be criminal – and one of my goals is to be a published author by my 30th BDay (2 years to go), so I’ve got to get my ass in gear and write (well, that and manage my time properly!)!

So, LJ and my first blog (Yes, I changed the name of the blog) will be focused on my writing efforts. I hope to have progress reports for you guys, announcements of where you can read what I’ve written, etc. Oh, and down the line, news of me being published.

So, yes, I’ll be here more regularly.

Be EPIC!

Hey Guys and Girls, I’ve launched the new blog!

Head on over, there’s 2 new posts (an a hoard of old ones) to check out: my ‘Welcome to the Blog‘ post, and my review of Stephen King’s Under the Dome!

Be EPIC!

Hey everyone, just wanted to let you know that I know I’ve been quiet, but tomorrow I’ll be announcing something cool. Have been working on it for a while now, and it’s finally ready for the world.

So stay tuned!

and Be EPIC!

Did you send through a few questions to Peter? Well if you did, check out the 2 videos below – he may just have answered them!

Here in SA we’ve already got The Temporal Void on the shelves, but here are the links if you would like to order your copies – if you’re in the US, and if you’re in the UK.

Be EPIC!

Hey guys and girls, thought I’d do a post to let you know what’ll be on offer from Penguin Books SA this month. There are plenty of great titles to look forward to! I’ve included the ISBN, so check it out and then go place your orders!

Alexandra Sokoloff – The Harrowing: 9780749941581

Amanda Downum – The Drowning City: 9781841498140

Charlie Higson – The Enemy: 9780141325026

Christine Feehan – Dark Slayer: 9780749941642

Massive Book Of Best New SF 22 – Edited by Gardner Dozois: 9781845299309

Iain Banks – Transition
9781405507264 – Audio Book

Hardcover – 9780316731072
Trade Paperback – 9780316731089

Ian Irvine – Curse of the Chosen (Book 2 of The Song of the Tears)
9780143002505

Ian Irvine – The Destiny of the Dead (Book 3 of The Song of the Tears) 9780143002512

Kate Elliott – Traitors’ Gate (Book 3 of Crossroads) – 9781841498355

Kate Griffin – The Midnight Mayor (sequel to A Madness of Angels)
9781841497341

Kelly Armstrong – The Summoning – 9781841497105

KJ Parker – The Company – 9781841495101

Massive Book of Merlin – Edited by Mike Ashley – 9781849011112

Mike Carey – The Naming of the Beasts – 9781841496559

Robert Buettner – Orphanage – 9781841497549

Robert Buettner – Orphan’s Destiny – 9781841497556

Robert Buettner – Orphan’s Journey – 9781841497532

Stephen Woodworth – With Red Hands – 9780749941321

Terry Brooks – A Princess of Landover – Hardcover: 9781841495804

Trade Paperback: 9781841495811

Ursula K. Le Guin – The Left Hand of Darkness – Hardcover: 9781841496061

Eoin Colfer – The Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Book 6: And Another Thing… – 9780718155155

That’s it from Penguin Books SA for this month! You shouldn’t have any trouble tracking down the books you want, and some of them will already be in stores right now.

Be EPIC!